I know it's a little strange to not list more than five things I'm grateful for if I have them, but I limit myself to five for a reason. See, when I started this practice a few years ago, it was just lists. No explanations. Just a date and a list. If I wrote five things each day, I wouldn't be able to tell which days were good days and which days were bad. I would only focus on the good things. Now that the ritual has expanded, I've kept it at five because on the bad days, I want to push myself to think of five things that I'm grateful for. I never want to write it off as a bad day and just write down one thing. On the other side of things, if it's a good day, I want to leave something to be thankful for on the upcoming tomorrow.
Getting back into this has been positive part of my life. I won't lie and say that I haven't hit some major lows and a few minor bumps along the way. Those days are documented on here, so there's no use in denying them. But on those bad days, this helps me focus on the good things. And the good days give me great things to look back on when I'm feeling worse than I'd like.
I'd never shared this practice with anyone before. The journal I used to do this in was kept completely private, and I suspect it will stay private. But not only have I left these latest daily writings in a public domain; I've been able to have four of my closest friends writing their own lists and musings of gratitude right beside mine. It's created a great sort of support system that I didn't anticipate. I think we gain a lot of positivity from each other. I know that, at least, I gain a lot of positivity from the other girls. Even if I'm having a good day, it's made better by their good days. And just as importantly, if one of us is having a struggle, we know there are at least four other people out there thinking of us. I know on my bad days, I've read through everyone's writings and gotten a lot of joy out of their joy.
Today, I am grateful for my return to this daily ritual and the girls who have joined in this ritual with me. I am also thankful for:
- my phone chat with Amy tonight. It was so good to catch up voice to voice and get to tell stories and laugh in a way that texting just can't do.
- having an interview tomorrow. Could gainful employment actually be in my future?
- Duffy. Her album is perfect easy listening with a kick. It's the kind of music that makes you sway just a little bit, and I'm totally in love with it.
- "She's the same as me except she's not the same as me." Fucking brilliant! Loves it.
- chocolate and peanut butter cupcakes. I made a batch tonight to send to my brother for his birthday, and they're making my house smell fantastic. (Nate: If you have somehow managed to see this, please act surprised when they come in the mail. Love you.)
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