Paradigm Shift.

*Good Food
*my bike trainer
*my new haircolor
*new attitudes
*being love

For more see my personal blog:
excusefreeinspiredlife.blogspot.com

Day 256: The Sun'll Come Out...

Today, I am grateful for:
* the $10 I made off my mom. (Long story.)
* new shoes at discounted prices.
* sunglasses.
* feeling cute today.
* leaving for Philly tomorrow.

Day 255: DIY

Today, I am grateful for:
* homemade pasta salad.
* Hobo.
* sunshine.
* fixing my phone by myself.
* a good night of television waiting for me after my work out.

Days 253 & 254: Virtual Movie Dates

I am grateful for:
* sunshine.
* the dogs.
* virtual movie dates.
* being 25 away.
* weekend getaways.
* getting to see my brother for Easter.
* getting to spend time in Philly and Maryland this weekend.
* morning walks.
* having such great neighbors.
* waking up smiling.

Day 252: Sunshine and Cosmo

I love the days when I get everything that I need to done in the morning. I feel like I've earned an afternoon of relaxation and everything else I get done is just a bonus. Today was one of those days. I woke up early so I could walk the dogs and then got an anniversary gift mailed to P and grocery shopping done for tonight's dinner. Plus, I picked up the movie for tomorrow night's virtual date. So I didn't feel the least bit guilty taking my Cosmo out on the deck and enjoying a little Me Time in the sun. I'm thinking a pedicure and movie night (I rented Duplicity during my morning errands.) are in store for me later. But I have some dinner to cook first.

Today, I am grateful for:
* cute underwear. It helps. I'm not sure why exactly, but it does. There's something about knowing that you look cute all over, even if no one else knows.
* feeling productive enough to have guilt-free Me Time. It's the perfect day for relaxation, but I also feel productive and know that I'm not shirking responsibilities off on someone else.
* the latest issue of Cosmo. I don't think I've picked up an issue since I moved here, and yes, it's a little trashy, but I missed it.
* tomorrow's movie date. I love that P and I can have date nights without actually being in the same place. It makes the distance so much easier. And it's super sweet that he's the one who suggested it.
* the neighborhood dogs, including my own. They really are the best way to start my day. I get good exercise taking my own dogs for a walk (plus the bonus of a morning chat with my mom), but it's also just so dear to watch all the dogs interact and get so excited about a smell or a sound or each other. Their energy is contagious.

Day 251: Bookstore Time

Today, I am grateful for:
* dinner out with the neighbors tonight. We (my parents and I) took our neighbors from across the lake to our favorite Mexican restaurant in town and then brought them back to the house to talk. It was nice to get out, be social and hear what's going on in their lives. They can always make me smile.
* spending time at the bookstore today. I spent a fair amount of time looking through books and looking at what's out. And since Tim Burton's version just came out, there was a whole display of stuff/books for Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, which is my personal literary obsession. It's my favorite place to spend days.
* sunshine. It was absolutely gorgeous out today.
* virtual dates. L and I got to watch the Ghost Bros together last night while texting, which was a fun surprise. We didn't plan it that way, but we ended up watching our favorite guilty pleasure at the same time.
* having a bad hair day turn into a cute hair day. I know, it's shallow, but having a bad hair day hurts the self esteem, especially when I'm planning on spending the day out. So when my hair didn't curl right and just decided to frizz, I braided one side of my hair and brought it all into a lot side ponytail. Finish with my favorite No Clothes accessory, and I actually felt cute today.

Well-Deserved

As I'm sure you know, my mom is a teacher. She's been teaching a unit in her sophomore class for several years now, teaching the Holocaust through literature. Last summer, she was one of 5 teachers in the nation chosen to attend a week long conference in Chicago. She got to meet Holocaust survivors, got loads of free materials to use in her classroom, and got to do tons of really interesting things. This school year, she's gotten an article in the TNT and got personally invited to PLU's Holocaust Symposium.

Every year, she has her students put together art projects that are Holocaust memorial pieces. There have been some amazing ones every year, so she finally organized an art show so that parents, friends, etc, could see them. The show ended up growing to involve the art classes, yearbook, digital photography, and creative writing. It was a really neat event, and everyone kept giving her great compliments, particularly on her students' projects. (And having looked at them all, there were some amazing and truly moving ones this year.)

I'm just thrilled and so grateful that others are really starting to recognize how kick ass of a teacher my mom is. Seriously. I've always known it, and to see her getting recognized by others outside of TBS is so fantastic.

That's the big thing I'm grateful for today, but a few other little things made me smile and/or laugh today, and they are:
-Dancing with Byron. It was the last day that I know for sure I can help him out, and it's always fun.
-The Office/30 Rock. Both were awesome tonight. Especially 30 Rock.
-Irish Cream Lattes. Yum.
-Clean sheets. They're so lovely.

Also, why do I always seem to practically write a story every time I post here? I guess I can't help it. There's a reason I got a BA in English. *walks off singing Avenue Q*

Day 250: March Madness

Today, I am grateful for:
* lazy days.
* March Madness.
* cooking. I really love being in the kitchen.
* The Marriage Ref. Alec Baldwin was on the panel tonight. I laughed so hard.
* Rufus following wherever I go. It's super cute.

I PASSED

Most performance degrees require an oral exam at the end of your degree that you have to pass in order to graduate. Now, they can ask you anything about all of the classes you've taken the two years you've been here. That's a lot of information! Needless to say I spent my spring break studying like a mad woman and trying to be calm about the whole thing. But I PASSED (and I also cried in front of them---uber embarassment. Uber). See I over-studied. It's like over-practicing, but way worse because your brain decides to leave your body which is exactly what happened during my degree oral exam. Lamecore. Whatevs though cause I totally passed and in like 51 days I graduate. What-what.

So I've decided it's time to start being nice to myself. Why am I soooo hard on myself? I'm definitely my worst critic and I give myself such a hard time about things that don't matter (like crying when I totally passed, so who cares?) to anyone but me. Le sigh. I've always thought if I could just put my brain in neutral or something then I'd be able to just take a time out from myself.

Anyways, this is my new goal and with it me pressing the giant DO-OVER button on life when I move back home (SUPER STOKED). So yeah. Bring it DO-OVER button, I'm soooo ready for you.

So today I'm especially grateful for:

• Passing and Graduating!!!!! WHAT?!
• Going to see some professional Shakespeare tonight in Denver. I haven't seen a professional production in so long!
• Eileen's Cookies. I'm pretty sure you can get them back home and they're like magically delicious!
• Maybe seeing Hamlet (the opera) Saturday...It seems to be a Shakespeare-filled week.
• Carnivale. OMG. Best. Show. Ever. (WHY DID THEY STOP MAKING IT? Oh right, cause it cost a bajillion dollars to make and I can see why CAUSE IT'S EFFING AMAZING!) Also: Nick Stahl? Yes please.
• Lost. ALSO OMG. I might cry when it ends in May. Seriously.
• Being able to go home even if it's quick-like in April for an audition. It'll be fun to see the fam and celebrate my baby brother's birthday early.
• Being nice to myself.

Day 249: Riesling and the Riverfront

I spent the day in Little Rock with my mom and Rufus today. There wasn't really a reason to go, but there wasn't a reason not to go, so we packed up food and water for Rufus and got in the car. I suppose, in a way, the trip was productive. We picked up an ebelskiver pan, and I picked out P's anniversary gift. But most of the fun was walking along the riverfront in the sunshine. It reminded me of home a little bit, just being by the water with no purpose except to be there. It felt good.

After the riverfront, we headed home so that I could have a phone date with P. Best part of my day. But those have to end sometime, which is what that ebelskiver pan was for. Homemade apple ebelskivers. I burned the first four, but after that, I got the hang of it. They're amAzing. I can't even explain it.

So that was my day: shopping, riverfront, date, laughter, smiles, pastries.

Today, I am grateful for:
* having a mom that I can do things with.
* candlelit baths with a glass of Riesling
* phone dates. They make the distance easier.
* the way he makes me feel.
* pastries and the new pan that lets me make them.

*** For the record, I almost forget the R both times I typed the word "pastries." For my own sake, I need to clarify: I am not thankful for pasties. Those are different. And not even nearly as cool as pastries.

Day 248: R2

Today, I am grateful for:
* "aaaaaw" moments.
* cooking a good, healthy dinner.
* picture texts.
* texts from my girls.
* R2.

Day 247: Vacation Frustration

Today, I am grateful for:
* a good, healthy dinner.
* desert islands.
* Dead Like Me.
* my mom trying to help me out.
* feeling like I accomplished something.

Day 246: And Healthcare!

So, I posted my gratitude before the healthcare bill passed tonight. I had to revisit and offer my gratitude for this historic moment. I happen to be one of the millions of Americans without healthcare. Ironically, I lost my coverage when I took medical leave from college. And I have quite the list of pre-existing conditions. So this bill has meant/means a lot to me, more than I can say.

So I am grateful, to Congress, to everyone who called their representatives to tell them to pass it, to all of the organizations and groups and individuals who have fought for this for so long and to the Administration that made it happen. Thank you.

Next up: Reconciliation.

Day 246: My Parent's Wedding Anniversary

Today, I am grateful for:
* long, hot, candlelit baths.
* Food Revolution. Seriously, everyone should see it.
* a fabulous margarita tonight.
* text messages.
* things that make me laugh.

Days 244 & 245: Good Timing

I am grateful for:
* my bed.
* the perfect arrangement of pillows.
* Fernando, the garden gnome.
* getting to talk to P on his birthday yesterday.
* future movie dates.
* movie nights with my mom.
* word games.
* VS.
* my flower garden being planted.
* good timing.

Days 242 & 243: The Coolest Mom

Most of my gratitude from the past two days is the result of yesterday. Not that today, hasn't been wonderfully relaxing, but yesterday was exactly what I needed.

Yesterday morning I had my appointment with Planned Parenthood to discuss getting on The Pill. I've tried to get it from my doctor here in Hot Springs and the Walk-In Clinic here, but both are affiliated with the Catholic hospital in town and, therefore, will not let their doctors prescribe birth control. So when I told my mother that I wanted to go on the pill, she responded supportively by saying that she was happy I was being safe and that she would go with me. So I finally have a Pill that won't react with my anti-depressant and that will help make sure that no Little Sams come into this world anytime soon.

Since we were halfway there already, my mom and I agreed to drive to Memphis to do some shopping at Costco and my favorite little shop. Plus, we knew the Costco pharmacy would most likely fill my prescription. (I was a little worried when I walked up to the pharmacy counter and saw a guy, but he was great about it.)

So I ended up coming home with appropriate birth control pills, a good doctor's advice, new dresses, new earrings, a cute new bracelet and two DVDs. I may have gone a little spending crazy...

Road trips with my mom are always a good experience. We do our best talking in the car.

Today, I am grateful for:
*Planned Parenthood.
*having such a cool mother who reacted supportively to my talking to her about birth control.
*the pharmacist in TN.
*new clothes.
*talks with my mom.
*having a boyfriend who takes an active role in the birth control conversation. It's the sweetest thing.
*being proud of my writing.
*fun greeting cards.
*Netflix.
*my miniature DVD player.

"Ken, I grew up in Dublin. I love Dublin."

Bonus points if you know where the quote comes from. I didn't include the second half because it totally gives it away.

I have mixed feelings about St. Patrick's day. On one hand, it bothers me that everyone uses it to perpetuate the stereotype of the drunken Irish people and everyone claims they're Irish. (Something that I know also bothers my Irish friends.) On the other hand, it means people are actually acknowledging how frakking awesome the country that I'm in love with really is. And being of Irish descent, I do take a little pride in it. (Though, I really should be wearing my orange sweater and not my green one, seeing as I'm Protestant.)

All that aside, today is a pretty awesome day for completely unrelated reasons. So here is a short list. (I like lists. And apparently using parenthesis as well.)

1. I HAVE A JOB!!! (Capslock totally necessary.) A job that will give me hours! A job that will allow me to have a life again!
2. It's absolutely stunning outside right now. Bright blue skies, warm weather, and just a hint of a breeze.
3. Christy Altomare's music. Even if they subject matter is sad, the simple but gorgeous melodies she writes always make me happy.
4. Iced coffee. Nothing more need be said.
5. Getting to see my old track coach. Gail is seriously one of my favorite people in the world. She's insanely supportive but not afraid to call you on any bullshit, she's warm and friendly and always cheerful. And she gives some of the best hugs in the world. Seriously. She just wraps her arms all the way around you and draws you in and doesn't let go. It makes you feel so loved and cared for and it's amazing. I cannot express the amount of love I have for that incredible woman. And she's one of the only people I know that can say "I'm praying for you" and really mean it in a totally non-condescending way.

Those are just a few reasons why today is awesome. But it is. And now I'm going to go drink my Jameson.

Day 241: Assurance

Today, I am grateful for:
* getting to talk to Manda this morning.
* a good, honest discussion.
* a good evening of television.
* tomorrow's appointment.
* assurance.

Day 240: Sunshine

I woke up to an absolutely gorgeous day today. The sun was out, hiding behind a few errant clouds, but it was still only in the mid-60's as far as temperature. It made it the perfect day to work in the garden. I got all of my flowers planted today and plan to spend tomorrow working on the vegetable garden. But for the rest of the night, I'm just working on the benefit and chatting with P on the phone.

Today, I am grateful for:
* sunshine.
* having all of my flowers planted. I'll have fresh flowers all summer.
* getting to hear his voice in a few minutes.
* good music that makes me get lost in a memory.
* finally figuring out a name for the benefit.

Days 238 & 239: Withdrawl

The past few days I've been a little...mopey (the lesser known eighth dwarf). They've been the sort of days where nothing goes wrong, but nothing really goes at all, and I've broken down on both of them. I've missed P and my amazing girls and the life we al have in Seattle. And I missed it all so much that I complete forgot about here.

Today, I am grateful for:
* text chats with P.
* tonight's gorgeous sunset.
* my two dogs. They've both been keeping watch over me.
* everyone who has made the effort to stay in touch despite the distance.
* the amazing people that are in the Arkansas part of my life.

"We may be bitches on occasion, but at least we're endearing."

Today, I'm grateful for:

• having a really good day at work with very pleasant customers. Plus I got to work with Nicole, Mary, and Kaylee, all of whom I love.
• the gals at work being so supportive of my acting. Mary told me they're getting a big group together to see Pinafore. Yay!
• Pinafore slowly falling together... even if it's been a little tedious at times.
• getting Sam into the new season of ANTM. So excited to have a show to watch together(...ish).
• the insanely delicious orange-chocolate-almond-hazelnut-cookie bars I made tonight. (I don't remember the actual name of the recipe... I need to come up with something more concise and creative to call it.)
• my dogs. They have so much personality and such sweet souls. I just love them so much. My day is instantly brightened any time I come home to Gidget bounding over to greet me.

Day 237: Lingerie and Happy Meals (Separately)

Today, I am grateful for:
* waking up early(-ish) with tons of energy.
* getting an appointment next week at PP of LR.
* the enjoyment that came from getting a Happy Meal today in order to get something for P that will finish out his birthday present.
* hummus and pita chips.
* the adorableness that is Doby.
* having good movies (Where the Wild Things Are and Up In The Air) to fall asleep to tonight.
* dropping some serious cash at VS but knowing that it'll all make me feel cute and/or sexy.
* feeling truly beautiful/sexy for the first time in my life.
* having ANTM as L's and my show for the season. Those'll be some fun chats.
* being the adult.

Day 236: To Do

Honestly, I slept most of the day. I woke up at 11am and somewhere in there went back to bed to wake up at 3:30pm. (I promise I did actually get out of bed somewhere in there.) Then it was text chats, a few errands, a food run and some television as I poured over cookbooks and recipes I could manipulate. (I hate following recipes exactly. It feels much better to inject myself into the recipe. Figuratively. Not literally.)

But I have no complaints for the day. It's what I needed, and I'll be more productive tomorrow.

Today, I am grateful for:
* finally catching the season finale of Leverage. It was sooooo(etc) good.
* the way I fell asleep last night and woke up this morning.
* the uber-sweet barista at Starbucks today.
* feeling happier than I ever had.
* having a really kick ass "To Do" list.

Day 235: More Love

I'm back on the Ark now, having spent last night sleeping in my own bed. It feels good to be back, but I'm still adjusting to being away from him.

I realize I've been a bit emo lately, sulking about being away from Seattle/Edmonds/P. I know that I won't be like this forever, and I thank everyone who has put up with me being super one-tracked. I think it mostly stems from never believing I would feel this way. I didn't think the man of my dreams existed, and I wasn't going to lower my standards, so I had pretty much accepted that I would spend my life "alone." So P coming back into my life and being so amazing was the most amazing shock of my life.

I'm grateful for the twists of fate that brought us together and that we fit so well together, and I'm grateful for the two weeks we got to spend together and the lifetime we have ahead of us. While I'm sad to be away from him, I'm not losing sight of the amazing blessing it is to have ended up with him in the first place. He makes me happy, even from 3,000 miles away.

But I promise I haven't forgotten about the rest of my life. I have no intention of becoming one of those girls whose life revolves solely around the man in her life. I have a lot of great stuff that I'm working on, little and small, and I'm incredibly excited.

And I promise I haven't forgotten about the rest of the people in my life. Loving him so much does not diminish my love for ya'll in any way. There's just more love in my life. I love ya'll, and I love him. Just in very different ways.

Today, I am grateful for:
* being with him.
* our phone date later tonight.
* getting the benefit planning really underway.
* my amazing friends.
* the amazing lifetime of love I have ahead of me.

Day 234: Because I know I'll fall into bed when I get back...

Today, I am grateful for:
* being able to sleep in my own bed tonight.
* this amazing trip.
* getting to see all the people I did.
* having two weeks with him.
* text messages.

Day 233: Wichita

It's my last night on the road! And while I'll be sad that this trip is over, I'd rather be in my own bed if I can't be in his in Edmonds.

Today, i am grateful:
* adorable/amazing picture texts.
* Justin's response to a somewhat "spirited" text.
* getting to sleep in my own bed tomorrow night.
* my adorable dogs.
* really hitting the ground running with this benefit.

"Friends don't let friends become giant singing ponies."

Today, I'm grateful for:

• yesterday's lovely spring-like weather and spending a lot of time outside.
• reconnecting with Kim on Wednesday and realizing that we still operate on the same wavelength.
• making a promise with Kim that we'll see each other much more often.
• lunch and some theatre-nerd conversation with Nic on Thursday.
• getting to see Dirty Rotten Scoundrels at Theatre on the Square thanks to Kelli.
• this year's Oscars. I feel pretty confident in saying it was the best I've seen. Bravo, Adam Shankman. It was classy, elegant, smooth, and very entertaining.
• The Legion of Extraordinary Dancers + Best Score Nominees sequence during the Oscars. Absolutely breathtaking. What a fantastic way to showcase both dance and outstanding original music.
• dayquil and nyquil. I have to kick this cold before my audition next week (and the performances of Pinafore after that.) Being sick is not an option.
• The 5th's 2010/2011 season, which was officially announced today. Brace yourself, it's incredible. Ready? In the Heights, A Christmas Story, Vanities, Next to Normal, 9 to 5, Guys & Dolls, and Oklahoma!! KICK. ASS.

PS: In case you were really confused, the quote in the subject line of this post came from a conversation with Kelli regarding a certain youtube video called "Ponies doing Musicals." I can't really describe it, but it's both terrifying and amazing... okay, it's just something you have to see. I thank the Fug Girls for bringing it to my attention.

Day 232: Fort Collins

Today, I am grateful for:
* sweet texts.
* gorgeous landscapes.
* getting to spend dinner with Miss Amy.
* excellent sushi and Chinese food.
* getting to catch a little bit of tonight's Oscars.

Day 231: Layton

I'm having a little trouble with gratitude today. We spent the whole day on the road without much distraction, and I'm seriously missing P. But the two of us decided that we wouldn't spend our time apart moping, so I'm trying as hard as I can to honor that.

Today, I am grateful for:
* my ipod.
* text conversations.
* having such an easy drive today.
* navigation systems.
* long, hot showers.

Day 230: Tears

I had to leave my hotel this morning to head off for Arkansas. Apologies for being distant today and maybe tomorrow. I'm a little broken hearted about having to leave my baby behind.

Today, I am grateful for:
* amazingly sweet texts.
* stolen time.
* hugs and kisses.
* getting to spend time with family tonight.
* having found the guy I want to spend my life with.

Day 229: One More Day

Yesterday I spent the entire day with P. It was supposed to be the last day of my trip here, so we grabbed BurgerMaster and headed to GasWorks before heading to the top of the Space Needle before heading to my uncle's birthday party and eventually heading out to a martini bar (where the bartender was a-mazing). We spent the day just being. It was nothing fancy or extravagant. It was just designed to maximize our time together. And then came the time for him to drive me back to the hotel. I'm not sure when I started crying, but it came out fast, and before I knew it, I was trying to stifle a full on breakdown. Hugs, kisses, more hugs and several "I love you"s later, I walked into my hotel and left P's arms. I spent the rest of the night racking with tears.

This morning I woke up with a hangover. Not from the martinis. From the crying. I felt like Hell, and I'm sure I looked it. But somehow it didn't matter when my dad texted from the mechanic to say that he was already tired and thought that maybe we should spend one more day. Cue a huge smile from yours truly.

So less than 24 hours after a massive onslaught of tears, I'm getting ready to go out on the last night of my trip with the only guy I want to be with. I know this second goodbye will be hard, but one more day is beyond worth it.

Today, I am grateful for:
* one more day with him.
* the amazingness that was last night's goodbye.
* feeling this loved.
* waking up to a message from P's mom.
* yesterday.

Day 228: Red

I feel like I could gush on here for pages about how amazing the last 12 days have been. Ever since I that first Friday here, I've been nothing but happy. That's a pretty big deal for me considering the usual happy to sad ratios that explain a normal week. My Facebook status currently says that I'm having the best week of my life, and I know that's a lofty statement. But it's true. I've never been happier or more sure of what I want.

Today, I am grateful for:
* these days in Seattle (although most of my time has been spent in Edmonds).
* all the people who messed up their schedules to see me.
* finding the ultimate feeling of comfort.
* text messages.
* knowing that just because I have to leave for a while doesn't mean this is going to end.

Day 227: Eco-friendly

Today, I am grateful:
* spending all night with P last night.
* waking up in his arms.
* an evening of Mario Kart.
* 500 Days of Summer.
* getting your perfect day.