Day 5: A Second Part

As I mentioned this morning, I spent last night with very little gratitude, and I was still working to shake the feeling this morning. Honestly, it was just sort of an off day for me. I was so caught up in my problems.

But as I was watching So You Think You Can Dance, as I do every week, I got some serious perspective courtesy of an amazing routine by Tyce Diorio. He hasn't been my favorite choreographer in the past, but I've gained respect for him this season, and he gained all of my respect and attention tonight.

He choreographed this gorgeous piece centering around a woman with cancer, and I haven't stopped crying since. It was moving and wonderful and everything that I always hope art will be. And it made me stop focusing on myself.

Yes, I have things that I'm working through, but everyone does. And while anorexia is a serious disease, cancer is the mother of them all in my mind. It's the sneakiest, most uncontrollable bastard of illnesses. All I could think of is the struggle that my aunt is going through as she fights cancer with her whole being and how she still manages to stay one of the most, if not the most, positive people I know. She has been my rock growing up, no matter what she was going through at the time.

So tonight, as I stuff myself with cupcakes and continue on with my night, I will be so much more grateful than I was this morning.

I am eternally grateful for:

• Tyce Diorio's artistry and courage to put together a piece like that.
• So You Think You Can Dance for giving the piece such a large venue.
• my amazing aunt and all of her courage to fight such a hard fight and still be such an amazing person.
• the perspective that I gained tonight.
• cupcakes that I can stuff my face with (I'm not a believer in princess bites.) to deal with my emotions.

I don't think I'll soon forget this, and that is a blessing. I'm going to go cry it out now (in the good way).