NOH8

Today, I'm grateful for:

• President Obama declaring June LGBT Pride Month. Hooray for another step towards equality for all! Read the press release at: http://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/presidential-proclamation-lesbian-gay-bisexual-and-transgender-pride-month
• an afternoon of good food, cooking shows, and games of cards with the family + Grandma Grace.
• the interview for my promotion going well. (I think, anyway.) Now it's just wait and see. Fingers crossed.
• my mama's incredible cooking.
• Candide. My internship is over now, but I still find myself thinking about what an incredible production it turned out to be and how amazing it was to be a part of it from the very beginning (back in the fall! Has it really been that long?!) I hope I get a chance to see it again, even if I sit way up in the back of the balcony.

Day 317: Elegance is Learned

Today, I am grateful for:
* having a relaxing day today.
* Duey.
* being only eight days away.
* sunshine.
* unlimited texting.

Day 316: Nine Days

Today, I am grateful for:
* the Hawks winning last night!
* an amazing phone date with P last night.
* Riley and Tyler.
* the flowers Riley and Tyler brought over.
* Lie to Me. It's kind of amazing.

Day 315: Hobo

The neighbors' grandchildren are in town for the long weekend. And while I know that sounds like it could be an awful weekend of too much noise and not enough space where I can swear without imparting new vocabulary upon an eight-year-old, I love these kids. They're the type of kids that make my mind go, "I want kids like that!" They're social and loving and outgoing and polite, and kids say the most adorable things. This morning I was informed that the girls' snorkels make it so they can breathe underwater for "like 30 hours." A-dorable. And we always get to see them because they come over to visit the dogs. So I get my daily dose of cuteness while Rufus, Sophie and Doby get their fix of lovings. It's perfect.

Today, I am grateful for:
* the grandkids' visit.
* an AM phone date with Kim! It was so good to talk to her.
* the adorableness that is Hobo coming running towards me because he wants some love.
* Stanley Cup hockey today! (Go Blackhawks!)
* a phone date with P tonight.

Day 314: Say Yes

Today, I am grateful for:
* tasty, healthy food.
* a night with my mama.
* phone dates tomorrow!
* sunshine.
* nHobo wanting to cuddle this morning.

Day 313: Run Away

Today, I am grateful for:
* recapturing Rufus after he accidentally got out the garage door.
* all the love and support.
* SYTYCD returning tonight.
* getting to stay in bed for a long time after the morning walk.
* being only 12 days away from him.

Day 312: In Loving Memory

My aunt CeCe died last night. I found out through my cousin's Facebook page as I checked a few things before I was going to head to bed. She had been in the hospital for a day or two when things unexpectedly, and quickly, got worse. So I walked out of my room, walked up to my father, sat down and told him that his sister had died. It was one of the hardest, most painful things I've had to do.

CeCe and I didn't see a ton of each other, but we always got along amazingly well when we were together. She gave some of the best hugs and always left a lipstick stain of love on your cheek. Her vibrance is something I won't forget. She was certainly one of my favorite people on my dad's side of the family.

I'll miss her.

Today has been a day of coping. It's been a day of sleeping, since I couldn't sleep through the nightmares last night. It's been a day of family, never leaving each other alone. It's been a day of frustration, since two guys who were supposed to do work on the house a few weeks ago showed up this morning unannounced and started drilling into the wall directly behind my bed. It's been a day of love, past and present.

Today, I am grateful for:
* Becca making me smile.
* the immense comfort that P gives me, even from far away.
* the time I had with CeCe.
* the memories I'll keep with me.
* all the loved ones I have.

Day 311: Come Original

Today, I am grateful for:
* a boyfriend who cares enough to ask.
* bro-a-thons.
* pictures from SF when I'm wishing we were back there.
* Glee. Tonight's episode made me happy. Love the costumes and arrangements.
* cooking with my mama.

Days 308-310: A Little Catch Up

I've been fragile the past couple of days, which is why I haven't been posting as often as I would like. I've been having serious body image issues lately, and it's taken me a while to back in the "right' mind set. But hopefully now things will get better. I'm still not happy with myself at the moment, but I'm getting there.

These past days, I have been grateful for:
* seeing a turtle super up close during a morning walk.
* phone dates.
* healthy food.
* work out dvds from NetFlix.
* unlimited texting.
* the Hawks heading to the Stanley Cup finals!
* virtual hockey dates.
* Becca wanting to come visit.
* good friends.
* friendly neighbors.
* cute sweats.
* finding the perfect gift.
* being able to girl out with Amy.
* sunshine.
* a good book.

Day 307: Phone Dates

I'm pretty sure phone dates are the best thing ever. Just for the record... I get lonely from time to time, especially wishing I could be falling asleep next to P. And if I can't fall asleep next to him, at least I can fall asleep to his voice.

Today, I am grateful for:
* phone dates.
* scenic drives.
* good movies.
* honest but fun conversations.
* waking up smiling.

Day 306: Nineteen Days

Today, I am grateful for:
* the sound of the pouring rain.
* sushi.
* cuddle puddles.
* my mom bringing me home white roses today.
* rounding down.

Hitting the Do-Over-Button

The Do Over Button is pretty bad ass cause it's a nice, wonderful way to put all the craziness of my life in the past and move on. Start again. Do Over. In 12 days I will be driving back home and packing sucks. Getting rid of stuff sucks. It only sucks because it's actual physical labor, but it's also freeing cause I can let go of things that connect me to Colorado and get new things and create new memories in the PNW (AKA the most beautiful, wonderful, amazing OMG-Why-Did-I-Ever-Move? place).

Anyways, over the next week and a half (or however long it is) I shall be hanging out with friends, eating at all my fave places in FoCo (which is a LONG list, trust), and say goodbye to my home of the last two years.

I'm pretty happy right now and CO has been good to me. I've grown up. I've realized what my strengths are and what I should work on. Hint: Backbone. I still need to stiffen mine up.

Wanna know what else makes me happy? This Weber commercial.

Who doesn't loving dancing whilst cooking/grilling? Answer: No one.

Maybe I shall listen to this song whilst hitting that Do-Over-Button. Sending and Receiving Love!

Days 303-305: Tambourine

Today, I am grateful for:
* all of the dogs.
* movie dates.
* having plans for friends to meet The Boy.
* the desert island game.
* P sending me a tambourine because we watched Nine together.
* good books.
* my DWTS workout tape.
* falling asleep to an amazing text conversation last night.
* having a permanent smile on my face today.
* sunshine.
* Just Because gifts.
* Dollhouse.
* comfy sweat pants.
* Alice.
* knowing.

Day 302: Nine

Today, I am grateful for:
* getting to sleep in today. I have to get up at 7am each morning to walk the dogs before it gets too warm. Today I got to sleep in because it was cool enough.
* having a movie date with P tonight. We're watching Nine together over the phone.
* the Blackhawks winning today! It was such a good game. And Niemi is a goal keeping god.
* cooking a healthy dinner tonight: tilapia and steamed artichoke.
* pie. Seriously. Can pie ever be wrong?

Day 301: Can't Sleep

I can't seem to sleep at all. It's 2:30 in the morning, and I know tomorrow will be a late night, so I was trying to sleep a bunch tonight, but no dice. But I remembered that I hadn't offered my gratitude for today, so here goes...

Today, I am grateful for:
* the sound of the rain.
* feeling artsy today.
* ridiculous texts.
* how cute Rufus looks while he sleeps.
* the future.

Day 300: For Sparta...?

Today, I am grateful for:
* waking up to sweet texts.
* being closer to having plans for June.
* running around with Rufus this morning.
* good friends.
* gorgeous days.

Day 299: Girl Talk

Today, I am grateful for:
* getting to girl out with Manda today. it was so good to talk to her!
* text messages.
* music from P.
* relaxation.
* good books.

Days 297 & 298: Soft Serve

I am grateful for:
* a waffle cone of soft serve swirl on a hot summer day.
* floating on the lake.
* sunshine.
* new music from P.
* a book swap with P.
* phone dates.
* friends.
* Sophie's playdate with Lucy.
* the Whitney Eve line.
* fashion, in general.

Day 296: Rest In Peace

A friend from high school died last night after being in the hospital since Thursday. I got the news today from my childhood best friend. She was twenty-three when she died, just past midnight.

I don't have that many delusions about mortality. I know I'm not going to live forever and that no one else is going to either. But she was twenty-three and as healthy as anyone else. Twenty-three. And now she's gone.

It just makes me think: You never know when you're going to lose someone. So tell people how you feel about them before you run out of chances.

Today, I am grateful for:
* the amazing people in my life.
* having known Amanda.
* Mandy keeping me updated.
* hugs.
* love.

Love to the all the Mamas

Happy Mother's Day to mi madre and all the mamas out there. Thank you for all you do. I (We!) love you.

Today, I'm grateful for:

• sunshine & warm weather.
• walks with the dogs.
• working with Daysha today. I love that girl. We don't get to work together all that often unless it's a busy time like holiday because we're essentially interchangeable (hired at the same time 4 years ago, same skill sets, all-around kickass sales girls) so they schedule us at different times. I wish we'd work together more often, because we're seriously the dream-team when it comes to team-selling.
• hard cider.
• my Operation Air Drums mix. (Currently playing while I prep dinner - chili lime chicken! Yum!!!)
• feeling really cute in my new lace-back tank from Express.
• mamas.

Days 293-295: Mama

It's Mother's Day, a holiday that didn't really mean much to me as a kid. I mean, I wrote my mom a card and made her breakfast, but other than that, Mother's Day was just another day. But as I've grown up, I've realized just how much about my mother there is to honor.

I almost grew up without a mother. When I was twenty months old, my mom had a cranial aneurysm and had to undergo surgery that the doctors were almost certain she wouldn't live through. If she did live, my father was told, she would have to be retauught how to walk and how to talk. But she completely defied the odds. Not only did she survive, but she got bored in the hospital and went for a walk a few days after surgery. She's told me that she remembers deciding to fight for her life. She remembers making the conscious decision to live, for my brother and me.

I don't have the best relationship with my father. I never had. So I've gone to my mom for everything. She taught me how to drive a car and how to braid my hair. We talk about almost anything.

My mom and I have been through quite a bit, individually and together. And I'm so grateful that I have had her as my sidekick.

Today, I am grateful for:
* my mama. I love her so much.
* the prospect of having my own children someday becoming more and more concrete.
* pug noises.
* my DWTS work out tape.
* phone dates.

It's also worth mentioning that a friend from high school will be pulled off life support tomorrow after being rushed to the emergency room Thursday. Her seizure and coma were completely unexpected.

My point is: tell people you love them while you have the chance. You never know when something will happen.

"Life is happiness, indeed..."

I'm grateful for:

• waking up before my alarm and just laying there in the pool of sunshine coming through my window.
• being cast as Natalie in All Shook Up at TMP. Our first rehearsal is May 24th!
• all the work my high school kids are doing on Pride & Prejudice. The show is still pretty rough... which worries me because we've hit crunch time... but I can tell they're really trying.
• my internship at The 5th giving me the opportunity to sit in on Candide rehearsals. I sit there and just marvel at the incredible talent surrounding me. David Armstrong is a brilliant director, and it's so interesting to watch him work - he's incredibly specific in what he wants, yet he also works very organically, allowing the actors to follow their instincts and inspire him. The actors, of course, are brilliant as well; I could listen to Stanley (Candide) sing for days.
• fantasy fashion with Sam.
• having dinner with Katie yesterday. We're determined to hang out regularly even though we're not in a show together anymore.
• my puppy. Especially when she's being cuddly.

Day 292:

It's an absolutely gorgeous day out. There's sunshine, a light breeze and temperatures right around 90. So it was the perfect day to throw on my swim suit, blow up my inflatable lounge chair and relax while floating on the lake. Today's the first day I've gotten to do that this year, so it marks the beginning of summer for me. From now on, it's all about sunglasses, cold drinks and wearing whatever matches your swim suit.

It does make me a little lonely though. This would be the perfect thing to share with the girls. We could each read fashion magazines or just sip umbrella drinks and chat. Not that I don't love my mother, but floating with her just isn't the same.

Phil's trying to come for my birthday, so I'll have a lake buddy (and a life buddy) then, but I wish the girls were here too. I wish life was here. Or I wish this was all in Washington...

Today, I am grateful for:
* fantasy fashion with L.
* floating on the lake.
* sunshine.
* feeling cute today.
* having a free day today.

Day 291: Squishy

My big goal right now is to get back in shape. It's not for P; I know he'll love me no matter what I look like. But I haven't been good to my body in quite a few years, so I figure it's about time to start, and that means healthy eating and a solid workout plan. I'm supposed to get the DWTS cardio tape from Netflix in the next day or two, so we'll see how that works.

Completely honestly, it's a little motivated by looks. I'd be lying if I didn't admit that. This is the heaviest I've ever been during summer/swimsuit season, and that does make my uncomfortable. But I still want to make it clear: I'm doing this for me.

On a completely different note, things with P have been going really well. I've been trying not to gush, but after our weekend getaway, I'm in a gushy sort of a mood. I've never felt safer, more comfortable, more amazing or more beautiful in someone's arms before. Quite frankly, I never thought I would. Our families meet next time we're in town, and i could not be more excited. It's really one of the last things on the proverbial list of things I feel like need to happen. I know that's random. But I wanted to share.

Today, I am grateful for:
* Netflix.
* feeling kind of bad ass on my morning walk today. (I had to literally climb into the woods after Rufus today. It was kind of fun...)
* pugs with sombreros.
* B liking her package!
* P liking the mix tape!

Day 290: Knowing

Today, I am grateful for:
* girling out with Erin last night.
* hearing from my twin!
* Netflix.
* seeing my baby book today.
* hilarious reactions.

Day 289: Moonlit Fenix

Today, I am grateful for:
* Moonlit Fenix.
* Kathy's response to my FB status. A-dore her.
* gushing with Amy.
* dinner tonight being successful.
* all the turtles being out today.

Day 288: Tattoos and Bubble Paper

Today, I am grateful for:
* this gorgeous sunshine.
* being able to talk about anything with K.
* learning I can get work out DVDs through Netflix. It's going to save me so much money.
* finally having a care package for Becca put together.
* this morning's walk.

Days 286 & 287: WHCD

Today, I am grateful for:
* the smell of my mom's homemade banana bread.
* my mom teaching me how to make on of my grandmother's specialties.
* a few fun fashion ideas.
* how beautiful the sky loks when the lightening strikes.
* a casual night in with the dogs.