Today started as a day that my mom and I were going to go prematurely (and immaturely) Christmas crazy. And that did, in fact, happen. (Hallmark unveiled the first part of their Keepsake Ornament collection today for Christmas 2010.) But for a day that started as one very much about material things, I've been thinking a lot about where my heart is. Obvious answers include: with Phil, in Seattle, the left side of my person... And those are all completely true. But I guess I thought of it in more of a "What do I want to do with my one wild and precious life?" sort of way. (Fellow Lutes, I apologize for the reference, but it happens to fit.) How do I want to leave a mark in this life? What do I want to do with my passions? What are my greatest passions? How am I going to afford to eat in the process?
I've come up with some answers that I already knew and some answers that are pleasant surprises. For example, realizing how much I want a family makes me smile. Knowing who that family will be with makes me smile. Knowing where that mark will be made makes me smile. And yet there are some questions left. Is this what I really want? Is it a remotely good idea? Will it screw me and P over economically? Where do I start? They aren't unaswerable questions, but they're currently unanswered. I have a lot of thinking to do...
In the meantime, I am grateful for:
* good books.
* fun Christmas ornaments.
* the possibilities of the future.
* P being only days away.
* seeing Duey and Hobo today.
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