Thursday, December 31, 2009

Days 164-67: Love That's Never Lost

I haven't meant to be absent from gratitude for so long. I honestly hadn't realized it had been more than two days. My aunt, Eileen, passed away on Monday morning, and while I knew it was coming relatively soon, I didn't expect it to happen this soon. And now she's gone.

She was the first one to come see my in the hospital when I was born. She played ultimate frisbee and the mandolin, and she never criticized me for being who I was but always called me on my shit. She was perfect, despite her imperfections. She was the best aunt I could have ever asked for, and I can only hope to be a part of someone's life in the way that she was part of mine.

After a courageous two year battle with cancer, she is pain free now. So that's something worth being grateful. I'm happy for her, and heartbroken for myself. I loved her. And I still do.

So, as I'm behind on my gratitude (and quite frankly haven't been keeping up with it while I haven't been writing it down), I am finally ready to offer up my gratitude for:
  • getting to spend time with my aunt and uncle while I was in Seattle in September saying goodbye to my grandmother.
  • Kelli and Justin getting to (respectively) meet Eileen while she was alive.
  • being able to go to Eileen's memorial service in Maryland, whenever it happens.
  • having Amy here.
  • having a Lost marathon to lose myself in.
  • good music.
  • new music.
  • the blanket my uncle gave me for Christmas.
  • sweatpants.
  • it being okay that plans have drastically changed this week (and especially tonight).
  • the great Christmas cards that are peppering my desk.
  • Rufus and Sophie.
  • The Princess and the Frog. Amy and I went to see it the day before yesterday, and it was absolutely amazing. It's probably my favorite Disney movie of all time. The music is fantastic.
  • movie days.
  • being closer to getting to Seattle.
  • good books.
  • the prospect of cupcakes tonight (if I get my act together and make them).
  • all the love and support that my friends have given me over the past week.
  • days where I can wear a jacket and scarf but still rock sunglasses.
  • random fits of laughter.

It's New Year's Eve tonight, and I'm spending it in. It's been a long week, and I have a lot to process. Peace and light to everyone.

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