"I drink too much, I fall in love too fast / Obsessively collecting songs and details / Nothing's gone but nothing's lasting."

I haven't been feeling particularly grateful lately. You know how people say life is a rollarcoaster? Well, if that's the case, I've been in the car that's stuck on the track, waiting for hours for the repairman. I kind of feel like no matter what I do, I can't move forward. I have two jobs now, but I'm still barely making it financially. I'm in a show, but the process has been mostly arduous instead of rewarding. My love life is, let's be honest, non-existent.

Sometimes when I'm driving to work or rehearsal, I think about what it would be like to just keep driving and disappear for a few days. Could I reinvent myself? Would I meet that sexy and mysterious guy who's also a wandering spirit, like in the movies? Would my head and heart sort themselves out while heading down those long, quiet stretches of highway? Will I ever stop wanting more, or is this just my nature?

Jason Mraz wrote the following in a blog a little while back: "Gratitude can be a bitch to get sometimes. This is why it is called Practicing Gratitude - because it isn't easy - you have to practice." I think that rings especially true during times like this. When I'm fighting for contentment, I have to step back and remind myself of what IS good in my life. So. It's beautiful, warm, and sunny today; I'm wearing a dress and drinking iced coffee, and I'm taking the time to remind myself to be grateful for the little things. Life has a way of working itself out, even if it takes a lot longer than we'd like.

Today, I'm grateful for:

• music that's so good it transports you to another place. Kerrigan & Lowdermilk's "Our First Mistake" does that to me every single time.
• turning up the music in my car and dancing, not caring what anyone else thinks.
• the "happy opening night!" text my dad sent all the way from Germany.
• Kelli dealing with my bitchfest texts during tech week.
• "sexy-creepy" - the mood and motto of the Sweeney cast.
• Desperate Romantics on dvd.
• sundresses.
• working on being love for myself.