Days 172 & 173: Poker Face

Amy left for Colorado yesterday morning, which means it is once again just me, my parents and the dogs. It feels so lonely. I got used to sharing a bed with someone and falling asleep chatting. I'm used to Lost until late at night and pumpkin spice chai. And now the house seems a little empty.

So I slept in this morning and have watched a little television. Tomorrow I'm going to actually need to be productive. But I needed some distracting.

See, my aunt's service is the 15th of this month in Maryland, and my parents and I are going. And I'm really glad I get the opportunity to go to a service for her. But that means that I probably won't get to Seattle for a while, so I can't honestly keep telling Phil that I'll be there "soon." So I'm debating flat out telling Phil that I'm not sure when I'll be able to see him. I'm debating having the conversation where I basically have to ask if he's willing/up for waiting for me. That doesn't sound like a fun conversation.

But in the meantime, I am grateful for:

• Amy's visit.
• my mom's split pea soup tonight.
• the smell of hot tea.
• Sophie being all cuddly.
• arm warmers.
• Zachary Levi.
• new television seasons starting soon.
• time to do some reading.
• some new motivation to write.
• the Nine soundtrack.

Resolutions

Today, I'm grateful for:

• the opportunity to continue my internship at The 5th this next quarter. Interns are hired by quarter because most interns are college students looking for work for college credit; being out of school and all, I didn't know if staying on staff was a possibility or not. But I got an email a couple of days ago saying they'd love for me to stay! I'm so grateful for the opportunity to see my projects through and to just be able to learn more about the world of pro theatre.
• getting to have lunch with some "extended family" (aka my dad's best friend and his wife) before they head back to Texas.
• really great music. I've been listening to Kate Nash and Adam Lambert pretty much non-stop for the last three or four days. And honestly, I didn't understand all the hype over Adam Lambert when he was on American Idol (granted, I didn't watch the show ) but after hearing his latest single and downloading the rest of the album, I realized just how talented he really is. I definitely recommend his album... it's just fun, sexy, feel-good music that makes you want to get up and dance.
• the homemade chocolate biscotti our family friends brought when they came over for food & football on New Year's Day. Oh. My. God. To die for. I seriously need the recipe.
• my recent decision to try to cut red meat out of my diet and my family's willingness to accommodate it. I have a feeling it might be a difficult change - I do love a good pot roast and my mom's homemade meatballs - but I know I'll feel healthier and more energized if I'm more conscious of what I eat. Hopefully I'll drop a few of these pounds I've gained since moving home too.
• this blog post by Jason Mraz on New Year's Resolutions and the benefits of buying & eating local and organic. And if you're into what he's got to say there, check out the following entries about his resolutions to recycle, conserve water, fight for equality, and BE LOVE in this now moment. It's an enlightening read, for sure.

Day 171: Sometimes, I Do Do Sadness

Today, I am grateful for:

• last night's late night chat with Amy.
• Matthew Fox and Josh Holloway. (Shallow. But true.)
• my new, cozy hat.
• pumpkin spice chai from Starbucks.
• coziness.

Day 170: 500 Days of Summer

Today, I am grateful for:

• relaxing to yet another amazing movie.
• being this much closer to heading to Seattle.
• everything being better once you sleep on it.
• sleeping in.
• any and every excuse to laugh out loud.

Day 169: Drunken Circus Invitation

After a night of gallery walking and margaritas with my mother last night, Amy and I decided to make a day of headed into Little Rock to play today. It's only about an hour drive, so it's not so far away. Just far enough so that it because a real "trip."

Step one was seeing the Clinton Museum/Library that's right on the water in downtown Little Rock. The building itself is gorgeous, but its contents are even more fascinating. (There are tons of pictures to prove it.) And the adjoining sculpture park was just as beautiful.

Step two was Big Whiskey's to watch the first part of the Razorback game and grab some dinners. I had the strongest screwdriver of my life and got tipsy after two drinks. Our waiter was adorable, especially when we explained that a guy had wondered up to us and invited us to a sideshow across the streets. Midgets on fire, no thanks.

Step three was seeing the amazingness that is Nine. The music, the cast, the way it was adapted into a movie, the costumes - It was all amazing. It's definitely joining the ranks of my favorite movies.

So, today, I am grateful for:

• my day trip with Amy.
• awesome pictures to remember the visit by.
• strong drinks and good laughs.
• an amazing movie.
• a day where I haven't been sad once, which hasn't happened since my aunt passed away.

Infinite Possibilities

Today, I'm grateful for a new year and a new beginning.

I'm grateful for the promise of 2010 and the chance to make this year anything I want it to be.

I'm grateful for endless possibilities and the excitement of the unknown.

I'm grateful that the first year of the new decade is also my first full year out of school.

I'm grateful for all of the incredible accomplishments and advancements our nation and our world has made in the past decade.

I'm grateful for all of the progress we'll make in another 10 years - hopefully equality for all and an end to war. If we all resolve to make it happen, it will happen.

I'm grateful to have rung in the new year with amazing friends, old and new.

I'm grateful for every single experience in 2009, even the ones I'd much rather forget, because they mean I lived another year on this earth.

I'm grateful for this gracious outlook which allows me to begin my journey into 2010 with an open heart, hand, and mind.

Day 168: New Year

It's weird to think that a new year starts today. It's a new beginning even though nothing really changes at the stroke of midnight. And yet, a new year always promises so much.

But nothing changes if you don't change it. The new beginning is more of an interior process. I can't change what I did last year (nor do I wish to). The choices aren't undone because the year has changed. But it's a fresh start nonetheless.

So in 2010, I am actively striving to worry less, love more and practice gratitude. I can't change yesterday, but I can make tomorrow into something different.

Today, I am grateful for:

• a new beginning.
• mimosas this afternoon with Amy.
• sleeping comfortably until about 1pm today.
• going out to get Rufus after we let him run around only to have him come running towards me with his tail wagging.
• leaving some of my insecurities in 2009.