I'm not really sure what to say.

As Sam posted earlier, there was a quadruple murder at around 8:15 this morning. For some reason, this one has hit me hard. Whether it's because it was four police officers killed or because it was in a coffee shop I used to frequent, I'm not sure. I just know that I've fought some tears back today as well as shedding a few. I heard about it this morning at church when one of our pastors made an announcement that his son, a Pierce County Sheriff, had been called in to help the Lakewood Police Dept.

I think maybe that's what has hit me hard this time. Aside from the incredibly brutal, sick nature of the crime, I've hit the point in my life where I have friends who are cops. A girl I graduated with is married to her high school sweetheart, a member of the state patrol. A guy I had yearbook classes with. Three former track teammates are in the process of testing to get into the police academy. Another track teammate used to do volunteer work with the Tacoma PD and is still considering law enforcement. These are people I know and love, and it could have been them.

We really don't thank our cops enough. Like Sam said, we've both decided that from now on, that random coffee or muffin is now on our tabs. It's the least we can do. To quote from earlier today, "I just really feel the need to go hug a cop."

So tonight, I'm grateful for the incredible men and women who put their lives on the line on a regular basis. We don't usually hear much about them unless there's some sort of screw up, and I think we forget about all the good, regular, honest officers who work for us every day.

Despite the tragedy this morning, the day did have a few brighter spots. Here's a list of those things, all of which I'm extra grateful for today, however seemingly small they are.
-My new sweater. Warm, flattering, a really nice orange, and 40% off.
-Our Chrismas tree. It's big and fluffy, smells amazing, and is just tall enough to hit the ceiling. I can't wait to decorate.
-Ed Kofi being at church this morning to speak. If you've never heard me talk about Ed, ask me. He's an incredible Liberian man who has been literally hunted, had his hand almost cut off in an attack, and still has one of the strongest faiths I've ever encountered. I've known him most of my life, and his testimony is always a blessing. Plus, he has an incredibly infectious laugh.
-My mom. We had a really good talk yesterday, and the continuing dialogue is promising.

Day 135: "There are wolves in the world."

Today, four officers were shot to death in my college town of Parkland. They were sitting in a coffee shop together before their shift started, and a man came in, shot them and fled. I don't know any of these men, and yet, my heart is still hurting. Because just because I don't know them doesn't mean that they didn't mean the world to a lot of people. They were ambushed and murdered, and it shakes a part of my being to be reminded that there really are people that cruel and heartless in this world. To borrow a quote from Leverage, "there are wolves in the world."

I live about 3,000 miles away from Parkland, WA now. So while I wish I could go around thanking every Pierce County, Tacoma and Lakewood police officer, I am unable to. But what I can do is thank ever other cop that I come in contact with. They really are the people we thank the least.

I was texting with Kelli about the event today, and I decided that whenever I meet a cop in a coffee shop, his coffee and/or pastries are on me. It's really the least I could do. And Kelli is doing it too.

I would encourage everyone to thank police officers whenever they see them. At the very least, say hi. They don't really get the gratitude they deserve.

So, today, I am grateful for:

• the men and women who put their lives on the line so that I can live a normal, safe day to day life.
• anyone and everyone who has opted for a job or a volunteer position that puts their life on the line.
• Christmas Village in Philly. It's so damn cute and so cheery. And the world could use a little more cheer today.
• the amazing couple from Puerto Rico/New York that I met today who make so much amazing art.
• the safety of myself and my loved ones.

Pass the love along.

Day 134: It really is always sunny in Philadelphia.

Today, I am grateful for:

• spending the afternoon at the Philadelphia Art Museum. I think I could spend a couple days in there just looking around and staring. They had my favorite Monet, which I had never seen up close, and all of this amazing religious and church art. And the contemporary section sort of blew my mind a bit. I can't wait to go back next visit. (Also, the front steps to the museum are the ones Rocky runs up. Totally put my feet into his concrete foot prints...)
• heading out to Effie's tonight. It's this Greek restaurant that my brother wants to show us.
• pie. This needs no explanation.
• Miriam, one of the door workers at my brother's building. She is so sweet, and she loves my dogs and always fusses over them.
• being in a city that's so easy (and beautiful) to walk around in. We walked about three miles today, and I felt like I was just strolling up the street. Everything is so flat.

Day 133: One Year

I found myself getting a little emotional yesterday when I realized that it was exactly one year today that I told my mother about my eating disorder and decided that I wasn't going back to school. It was one year ago that I turned my life upside down to save my life.

And while along the way I probably would have told you, and anyone, that it was a big mistake, it was the best choice I ever made. I still have bad days, but so does everyone else. Now I'm healthier and happier and ready to restart my life.

I have great friends, a good plan for the future and some serious peace of mind. I feel normal again, and I haven't felt that way in a long time, probably since junior high.

So my gratitude for today is very simple; I am grateful for everyone and everything that has made my life worth fighting for during the past year. And I am grateful for everyone who stuck by me.

I am thankful.

I've probably started and restarted this post five or six times. (Make that seven.) It's Thanksgiving, the day when all Americans are encouraged to do what we're aspiring to do every day: reflect on gratitude and love. And for that reason it feels like I should compose some penultimate offering of gratitude today. But when you really think about it...... every day is Thanksgiving (minus the extreme excess of delicious food.) That's what this blog is all about, isn't it? Celebrating each and every day we're fortunate enough to wake up, breathe, give, receive, and be love. Like Sam, I hope that the spirit of this day can be carried on throughout the year. If each one of us gives thanks and encourages (challenges, even) others to do the same, I think we can achieve that.

Today I feel most grateful for the simplest, and therefore most important, things in my life. I'm grateful to have a family to spend this holiday with; I'm grateful to have a roof over my head and a warm bed to sleep in. I'm grateful for the abundant feast my mother made this afternoon, and I'm especially grateful to live a life in which I don't have to fear going hungry. I am grateful to be in a circle of incredible friends who love, laugh and support each other with every step we take, regardless of the distance between us. I am grateful to be surrounded by inspiration. I am grateful for my health. I am grateful to be employed. I am grateful for the opportunity to pursue my dreams. I am grateful for love, in all its forms.

Who and what are you grateful for today? How can you bring the spirit of Thanksgiving to your life and the lives of those around you every day?

Day 132: Living Love

It's Thanksgiving day, and I'm starting to feel like this is a day meant for us. It's the day we're supposed to reflect on all the things we're thankful for, and I'm hoping that every day can be a little more like today. Everyone is in such a good mood, and everyone we've walked past on dog walks has said hello and/or smiled. It's a day for happiness. Hopefully that mood can carry on.

Today, I am grateful for:

• amazing friends. I have so many great people in my life, and I have a solid group of best friends who make me laugh and smile but are willing to cry with me. Love you guys,
• being here in Philly with my brother. I'm so blessed to have the relationship that I do with him.
• my grandmother's death bringing an amazing guy back into my life. I know she's smiling about that somewhere up there.
• fantastic Thanksgiving food. It's my no-guilt day, and this family takes it very seriously. We have four pies. For four of us... I love this family.
• the gorgeous murals here in Philly. They're calming and inspirational and beautiful, and I wish there were more around Seattle.

Mostly, I am grateful for love. Being love. Living love. Recieving love.

Day 131: Phantastic

This week's offerings may be brief since I'm hanging in Philly with my brother.

However, there's always time for a little gratitude, and today, that gratitude is for:

• being here in Philly.
• having a fan moment with Kelli over a Twitter account.
• how cute the dogs are walking around the city.
• my brother's giant television.
• light rain. (I've been a total Seattle girl, judging all the wimps with their umbrellas.)