It's been an off couple of days. No real reason. No real cause. But things have been off. It's a personal quirk I suppose that things got so good that I only assume they're going to crash around me, so I preemptively brace. With no reason. And no cause.
So that's what I've been doing for the past two days. As much as I've tried to stop myself, to let myself be happy. I've been barricading myself in just in case the breakdown that I imagine actually comes.
Because I'm not used to being happy.
I am grateful for:
* the happiness I have had, however distrusting of life it may make me.
* being so close to home.
* having amazing friends.
* rediscovering good music.
* discovering new, fun television.
* a good talk with my father.
* having such a supportive mother.
* maybe getting to see Amy.
* the personal heater that is Sophie, who likes to cuddle on these cold nights.
* chai. It's just really soothing.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment